What is a trusted adult, and when should kids tell one?
A trusted adult is a grown-up a child knows in real life and feels safe with, such as a parent, grandparent, teacher or coach. Children should tell one whenever something online feels weird, scary or has to be kept secret. Asking for help is brave, and they won't get into trouble. Every child can name three.
โถ Try it
Why it matters
Sometimes something online feels weird or scary. You pick three grown-ups you trust, and learn that telling them is brave and never gets you into trouble.
In 5 minutes you'll be able to
- Your trusted team is three grown-ups you know in real life.
- Asking for help is brave. You won't get into trouble.
- You can always tell bad secrets.
What you'll practise
Build your team
Who can be in your trusted team? Pick all the grown-ups you trust.
- Mum or Dad ๐ช
- Grandma or Grandad ๐ต
- Your teacher ๐ซ
- Your coach at your sports club โฝ
- A nice stranger from the game chat ๐ฎ
- Someone you only know online ๐ป
A funny feeling
Ben is playing an online game. Help him do the right thing.
Game chat ยท Online game
- Dragon77: hey ben, you're really good at this!
- Dragon77: where do you live anyway? ๐
- Dragon77: that stays our secret, ok?
Ben has a funny feeling in his tummy. What should Ben do?
- Write his address
Almost. The address stays in the backpack. A stranger doesn't need it. - Keep it a secret
Almost. That's understandable, but a secret that feels bad is one you can tell. Try again. - Don't reply and get help (Answer)
Great! Not replying is smart.
- Write his address
Chat with Mum
Ben goes to his mum. What does he say?
- "Mum, someone in the game is asking where I live." (Answer)
Just right! That was really brave.- You: Mum, someone in the game is asking where I live. It feels weird.
- Say nothing, or he'll be in trouble
Almost. Asking for help won't get you into trouble. Mum is happy to help.
- "Mum, someone in the game is asking where I live." (Answer)
- Mum: Thank you for telling me! You did really well. ๐
- Mum and Ben block and report Dragon77 together.
Secret check
Good secret or bad secret?
You're planning a surprise party for Dad.
- Good secret (Answer)
- Bad secret
Someone online says: "Don't tell anyone about our chat."
- Good secret
- Bad secret (Answer)
You saw something scary by accident.
- I hide it.
- I tell a grown-up. (Answer)
Help is always there
Whatever happened online, it's not your fault, and there's always someone to help.
- ๐ค Tell your team
- Go to one of your three grown-ups. If the first one can't help, try the next.
- ๐ธ Show, don't delete
- Show the chat to your grown-up. They can help you save it, block and report.
- ๐ Helplines for kids
- Can't talk to anyone at home? Free helplines for children are there to listen and help.
Remember
Bad secrets are okay to tell. Your trusted team is always on your side.
Secrets that feel bad are okay to tell.
Key facts
- 18.1% of children aged 10 to 15 in England and Wales who experienced online bullying did not tell anyone about it. ยท Source: ONS, Bullying and online experiences among children in England and Wales, year ending March 2023 (published 2024)
- 56.3% of children aged 10 to 15 who were bullied online told a parent or guardian, making parents the most common people children turn to. ยท Source: ONS, Bullying and online experiences among children in England and Wales, year ending March 2023 (published 2024)
- In the UK, Childline is a free, confidential service for anyone under 19. Children can call 0800 1111 at any time, day or night, and the call doesn't show on the phone bill. ยท Source: NSPCC, Childline
- A good secret, like a surprise party, makes people happy and ends soon. A secret that feels bad, or that someone online asks a child to keep from their parents, is one to tell.
Updated:
Questions people ask
Who counts as a trusted adult for a child?
A grown-up the child knows in real life and feels safe with, such as a parent, grandparent, teacher, school counsellor or sports coach. Someone the child only knows online is never a trusted adult.
What is the difference between a good secret and a bad secret?
A good secret, like a surprise, makes people happy and everyone finds out soon. A bad secret feels heavy or scary, or an adult asks a child to hide it from their parents. Bad secrets are always okay to tell.
What should a parent do when a child tells them about something online?
Stay calm, thank them for telling you and make clear they are not in trouble. Save the messages, then block and report the account together, and avoid taking the device away as a punishment.
What can a child do if they can't talk to anyone at home?
They can go to another trusted adult, such as a teacher, or contact a free children's helpline, like Childline on 0800 1111 in the UK.
Related terms