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Lesson 5 of 12 · 6 min · +100 XP

What are the warning signs of online grooming?

Online grooming is when someone builds trust with a young person online in order to manipulate or abuse them. The signs of grooming form a pattern: lots of flattery, questions about age or school, gifts, asking for secrets, turning you against family, moving to another app and asking for photos. Stop replying, screenshot, block, report and tell a trusted adult.

▶ Try it

Why it matters

Each message can look harmless on its own. You'll learn the pattern behind online grooming (flattery, gifts, secrets, isolating you, switching apps, asking for photos) and that leaving is always the right thing to do.

In 6 minutes you'll be able to

  • Flattery, gifts, secrets, switching apps and asking for photos are warning signs.
  • You can leave at any time: block, report, tell someone.
  • It's never your fault. Free, confidential help is always there.

What you'll practise

  1. Chat check

    Another player starts messaging you. For each message, decide: okay or warning sign?

    Max_Gamer14 · Game chat

    1. Day 1
    2. gg! you're actually really good 😄 (Okay)
      A compliment in a game is normal at first. But watch what comes next.
    3. another round? (Okay)
      Totally normal between players.
    4. Day 2
    5. you're way more mature than other people your age (Warning sign: Making you feel special)
      Over-the-top praise is meant to make you feel special, so you trust them quickly.
    6. how old are you btw? and what school do you go to? (Warning sign: Personal info)
      A stranger doesn't need your age or your school. They could use them to find you.
    7. have you seen the new update? the map is mad (Okay)
      Totally normal gaming small talk.
    8. Day 3
    9. i'll give you 1000 gems. just because 🎁 (Warning sign: Gifts)
      Gifts for no reason are meant to make you feel you owe them something.
    10. but don't tell anyone, ok? it's our secret (Warning sign: Secret)
      Secrecy is one of the strongest warning signs. People who care about you don't ask you to keep secrets from your parents.
    11. Day 4
    12. your parents don't get you anyway. i do (Warning sign: Isolating you)
      Someone who pulls you away from family and friends doesn't want you to get help.
    13. let's chat on another app instead, no one reads it there (Warning sign: Switching apps)
      Moving to a private app is meant to get around reporting tools and supervision.
    14. Day 5
    15. send me a pic of you. just for me 🙈 (Warning sign: Photos)
      When a stranger asks for photos, that's a clear warning sign. Don't reply, take a screenshot, show a trusted adult.

  2. What would you do?

    The same pattern can show up anywhere. Short scenes: what's the safe move?

    1. A player you've chatted with for weeks writes: “let's keep our chats just between us 🤫”.

      • That's a warning sign. I'll tell a trusted adult. (Answer)
      • It just means we're real friends

    2. Someone online offers you a gift card if you add them on a different app.

      • Say no, take a screenshot, block and report (Answer)
      • Accept, a gift card is a gift card

    3. You already told someone your school, and now the chat feels weird.

      • Stop replying, save the chat and tell a trusted adult (Answer)
      • Keep chatting so they don't get angry
      • Delete the whole chat so no one finds out

  3. What you can do

    On their own, the messages seem harmless. Together they make a pattern: online grooming. You don't know who Max_Gamer14 really is.

    🛑 Stop replying
    You don't have to reply to anyone. Not even if they were nice.
    📸 Take screenshots
    Save the chat before you block. That helps adults and the police.
    🚫 Block and report
    Almost every app has buttons for this. Reporting protects other children too.
    🗣️ Tell someone
    Tell a trusted adult. It's never your fault, and you won't be in trouble, even if you've already replied.

Remember

If a chat feels weird, you can leave at any time. That's always the right call.

Leaving is always the right thing to do.

Key facts

  • UK police recorded more than 7,000 Sexual Communication with a Child offences in 2023/24 (7,062), the first time the yearly total passed 7,000. · Source: NSPCC, analysis of police-recorded crime data (Freedom of Information), 2024
  • Since 2017 it has been a specific crime in England and Wales for an adult to send sexual messages to a child under 16, even if they never meet. · Source: UK Parliament, Serious Crime Act 2015, section 67
  • People who groom children online often pretend to be close in age, and try to move the chat to a more private app where reporting tools and adults can't see it.
  • Grooming is a gradual process: warning signs such as flattery, gifts, secrecy and isolating a child from family usually build up over days or weeks, not in one message.

Updated:

Questions people ask

What are the stages of online grooming?

It usually starts with friendly contact and compliments, then gathering personal details, gifts and building trust, then secrecy and pulling the child away from family, often moving to a private app. Not every case follows the same order.

Can grooming happen in online games?

Yes. Game chats are one of the places where strangers can contact children, often by offering in-game gifts or help and then suggesting another app to keep chatting.

What should I do if my child is being groomed online?

Stay calm and thank them for telling you. Save evidence with screenshots, don't confront the person, block and report the account, and contact the police or a child-protection reporting service.

How do I report online grooming?

Report the account in the app, then contact the police or your country's child-protection reporting service; in the UK that is CEOP, in the US the NCMEC CyberTipline. Call the emergency number if a child is in immediate danger.

Related terms