What is an upstander, and how can you be one online?

What you'll practise

1. Class group chat

   Read the chat. Then decide what you do.

   Year 8 🏫 · 24 members

   • Ben: look what i did to josh 😂😂 [Shared photo: Josh's photo, edited with donkey ears]
   • Mia: hahahaha
   • Zain: so embarrassing lol
   • Josh has stopped typing.

   1. Ben has posted an edited photo of Josh in the class chat. Everyone is watching. What do you do?

      • 😂 Laugh along
        Almost. Ben feels encouraged, more people laugh, and Josh sees every reaction. Lots of people laugh along so they don't stand out. Try another option.
      • Write nothing and keep scrolling
        Almost. Speaking up is hard, but to Josh it looks like everyone thinks it's okay. Is there a small step you feel brave enough to take?
      • Message Josh privately (Answer)
        Brilliant! You're not joining in, and you're looking out for Josh.
      • In the group: “Guys, that's not cool. Delete it.” (Answer)
        Brave! Often it only takes one person for others to stop too. Now check on Josh.
        • You: Guys, that's really not cool. Please delete it.
        • Mia: yeah tbh… sorry josh
        • Ben: chill, it was a joke 🙄
        • Ben deleted the photo.

   2. Chat with Josh

      You message Josh privately. What do you write?

      • Hey, you okay? That was really mean of Ben. (Answer)
        Exactly right. Checking in shows Josh he's not alone.
        • You: hey, you ok? that was really mean of ben
        • Josh: thanks… that's the third time this week
        • Josh: i honestly can't be bothered with that group any more 😞
      • lol don't take it so seriously
        Almost. Even if you mean well, this makes Josh feel he's not being taken seriously. Ask how he's doing instead.
      • Why do you let them get away with it?
        Almost. That sounds like it's Josh's fault, but the only one to blame is the person doing the bullying. Try showing some sympathy.

   3. Josh says Ben does this a lot. What do you do with the photo?

      • Take a screenshot as evidence, but don't send it on (Answer)
        Right. Evidence helps adults take the problem seriously.
        • 📸 Screenshot saved. Only for you and a trusted adult.
      • Forward it to everyone so they see how mean Ben is
        Almost. Then even more people see the photo of Josh. Forwarding spreads the meanness, even if you mean well.
      • Send Ben a nasty message back
        Almost. That can make the fight bigger, and in the end it's not about Josh any more. There are better ways.

   4. This keeps happening, and you can't sort it out on your own. Who do you tell?

      • Mrs Khan, our form tutor (Answer)
        Great. Teachers can step in.
        • You: i want to tell mrs khan. will you come with me tomorrow?
      • The school counsellor (Answer)
        Great. That's exactly what the school counsellor is there for.
        • You: let's go and see the school counsellor tomorrow, ok? i'll come with you
      • My parents (Answer)
        Great. Parents can talk to the school.
        • You: i'm telling my parents today, they'll know what to do
      • Nobody. I don't want to be a snitch.
        Almost. Getting help isn't snitching. Snitching is about getting someone into trouble. Getting help is about keeping someone safe.

   • Josh: yeah… ok. thanks for messaging 🙂
   • The next day, the class talks about what happened. Ben apologises to Josh.

2. New scenes, small steps

   Not every situation is a class chat. What's a good small step?

   1. In a game chat, two players keep calling Kai “trash” every round. Speaking up there feels too scary.

      • Message Kai privately after the game: “Ignore them, you played well” (Answer)
      • Say nothing, it's only a game
      • Join in so they don't pick on you next

   2. Someone leaves a nasty comment under Ruby's dance video. It already has five likes.

      • Don't like it, report the comment and tell Ruby you liked her video (Answer)
      • Like it too, everyone else did
      • Write a nasty comment back

   3. A friend asks: “Isn't telling a teacher just snitching?” What do you say?

      • “No. Snitching gets someone in trouble. Getting help keeps someone safe.” (Answer)
      • “Yeah, better to stay out of it”

3. The four moves

   Tap the four upstander moves in a sensible order.

   1. Don't join in
   2. Check in on how the person is doing
   3. Save evidence, but don't spread it
   4. Get help from an adult