Is what you see on social media real?
Most social media posts are real moments, but they are the best few seconds of someone's day, chosen from many attempts and often edited with lighting, filters and retouching. Comparing yourself with those highlights can hurt your self-esteem. Compare yourself with your own past self instead, and unfollow accounts that make you feel bad.
▶ Try it
Why it matters
A perfect selfie can take dozens of tries, a ring light and three filters. Once you know what goes into a post, you can stop measuring your everyday life against someone else's highlights.
In 5 minutes you'll be able to
- Perfect posts take lots of attempts, lighting and filters.
- You're seeing the best moments, not everyday life.
- Compare yourself with yourself. Unfollow what doesn't make you feel good.
What you'll practise
Behind the post
Flip the cards and see what's behind the perfect posts.
- 🤳 Mia_Style: a perfect selfie on the beach. “Just woke up like this 😴✨”
- 47 attempts, a ring light, filters for skin and eyes. She did not wake up like that.
- 🛋️ A bedroom straight out of a catalogue
- The pile of washing is right next to the camera. It took an hour of tidying for one photo.
- 🍰 A cake that looks like a professional made it
- The first cake collapsed. Only attempt number three got posted.
- 🎉 “Best weekend EVER!!” with laughing friends
- That was a nice five-minute moment. The rest of the weekend was arguments and rain.
The comparison trap
How do you deal with perfect posts?
A post usually shows …
- the best few seconds of a whole day (Answer)
- what that person's life is normally like
After scrolling, Kofi feels ugly and boring. What helps him?
- Comparing himself with last year's Kofi (Answer)
- Using even more filters to keep up
- Unfollowing accounts that make him feel bad (Answer)
How can you often spot an edited photo?
- Bent lines in the background, skin without a single pore (Answer)
- You can't, photos always show the truth
Your feed, your rules
Pick all the habits that help you feel good after scrolling.
- Unfollow or mute accounts that make me feel worse
- Remind myself: this is a highlight, not a whole day
- Follow people who show real, everyday moments
- Take a break when scrolling stops being fun
- Count my likes and compare them with my friends'
- Delete every photo that isn't perfect
Remember
Compare yourself with the old you, not with other people's highlights.
Posts are highlights. Compare yourself with the old you, not with other people.
Key facts
- 23% of US teens aged 13 to 17 say what they see on social media makes them feel worse about their own life. Girls were more likely to say so than boys (28% vs 18%). · Source: Pew Research Center, Connection, Creativity and Drama: Teen Life on Social Media in 2022
- 29% of US teens say they have felt pressure to post content that will get lots of likes or comments. · Source: Pew Research Center, Connection, Creativity and Drama: Teen Life on Social Media in 2022
- Social media isn't only negative: 8 in 10 US teens say it makes them feel more connected to what's going on in their friends' lives. · Source: Pew Research Center, Connection, Creativity and Drama: Teen Life on Social Media in 2022
- Many phone cameras and apps can smooth skin, reshape faces and change backgrounds in one tap, so an edited photo can look completely natural.
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Questions people ask
Why does social media make me feel bad about myself?
Because you compare your whole everyday life with other people's best, edited moments. That comparison is never fair. Unfollowing accounts that make you feel worse and taking breaks can help.
How can you tell if a photo is edited?
Look for bent lines or wobbly backgrounds, skin with no texture at all, and unusually perfect proportions. Often you can't tell, so it's safest to assume many posts have been edited.
Are influencers' photos real?
They usually show real people, but often after many retakes, professional lighting, filters and editing. A perfect photo is a product, not a snapshot of normal life.
How can parents talk to kids about social media and self-esteem?
Ask which posts make them feel good or bad and why, without judging. Point out together how much work goes into a perfect post, and share your own unfiltered moments too.
Related terms